Saison 2 du Colbert Report

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Cette page regroupe la liste des épisodes de la saison 2 du Colbert Report diffusés en 2006.

Saison 2 (2006)

Janvier

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
33'[1]Nancy Grace« If beauty Truth and Truth beauty, then I look fabulous tonight. »92001

 

34Sleeper cellCarl Bernstein« The Truth hurts; fortunately for America, I'm a masochist. »102002

 

35WhateverJohn Stossel« I got 99 problems, but the Truth ain't one. »112003

 

36Double-Stick TapeKenneth R. Miller (en)« I scream, you scream, we all scream for the Truth. »122004

 

37closed[2]George Stephanopoulos« Call me Fraulein Maria because the hills are alive with the sound of Truth. »162005

 

38Old School[3]Andrew Sullivan« Hey America, Nice Ass! »172006

 

39smart[4]Frank McCourt« I hope you brought a well-sharpened number Truth pencil. »182007

 

40Public-See[5]Nina Totenberg (en)« Stephen Colbert is Cool. »192008

 

41Charlie DanielsDavid Gregory« I'm only going to say this once. (Lucky for you it will be rerun four times tomorrow.) »232009

 

42ChernobylRobin Givhan (en)« Pucker up America, because I'm going to kiss and tell... the Truth. »242010

 

43Remote ControlNorah Vincent (en)« There's a hole in every man the size of the Truth and I'm gonna jam it in there. »252011

 

44Wham-O (en)Paul Begala« Let's change the world! But not the channel! »262012

 

45Abortion/unscriptedAnnie Duke« I got my mojo working—mojo, of course, is what I call my assistant Monica Johnson. »302013

 

46Jesi[6]Dave Marash (en)« America, be amazed as I bend this spoon by using the power of my hand. »312014

 

Février

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
47You're WelcomeEmily Yoffe (en)« We've done forty-six episodes without a lost time accident. »12015

 

48Aggravated assaultChristine Todd Whitman« I just saw my shadow — that means six more weeks of Truth! »22016

 

49MetaphoricallySen. Barbara Boxer« Sometimes it takes a crazy person to see the Truth; if that's true, then I'm a freaking lunatic. »62017

 

50KiddingJames Woolsey« How many roads must a man walk down before he's hit with an eighteen-wheeler of Truth? »72018

 

51EurekaAlan Dershowitz« Please turn your cellphones and pagers to silent or vibrate; no joke, it's just inconsiderate. »82019

 

52USA! USA!George Packer« Hope you haven't eaten in the last thirty minutes America, because you're about to go swimming in the deep end of the Truth. »92020

 

53USA? USA?[7]Lama Surya Das (en)« Mark your calendars America, I'm turning twenty-one into twenty-wow! »212021

 

54Absolutely MaybeMichael Eric Dyson (en)« It's George Washington's birthday, and I cannot tell a lie. The previous statement was false. »222022

 

55HippocraticalDavid Brooks« Side effects of tonight's show may include euphoria, patriotism and painful urination. »232023

 

56Trial SeparationTony Campolo (en)« Demon of facts, begone! »272024

 

57Laissez Les Bons Temps Roulez[8]Brett O'Donnell« Wanna prepare the perfect Truthtini? That's two parts vodka, no part fact. »282025

 

Mars

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
58faithArianna Huffington« America, bend over and relax, you're about to get a Truthoscopic examination. »12026

 

59Homo Sapiens AgendaJeffrey Sachs« And the Truth goes to... America! »22027

 

60Spoiler AlertBob Schieffer« What you're about to see contains graphic violence, adult situations and scenes of full frontal Truth. »62028

 

61The Long WarNorman Ornstein« Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, come one, come all, step right up and marvel at the exotic and the mysterious freak show. It walks, it talks, it crawls on its belly like a reptile. No photographs, no paper maché; it is... the Truth. »72029

 

62MonopolyJames H. Webb, Jr.« Focus on the spot on the wall and breath over the contractions. This truth's coming out head first. »82030

 

63D.I.Y.Lorraine Bracco« You're about to enter another dimension - a dimension not only of sight and sound, but of Truth. There's a signpost up ahead. Next stop, The Colbert Report. »92031

 

64Sidney PoitierChristopher Buckley« Never mind the bollocks, this is The Colbert Report! »132032

 

65ScapegoatKeith Olbermann« Light the lamp and put the biscuit in the basket, this is SportsCenter... Nope, this is The Colbert Report! »142033

 

66None of the AboveAl Franken« Warmth is to sun as Truth is to me. »152034

 

67Sweet DreamsFrank Vincent« I'm here to fight for justice and the American way. My weapon? The Truth! »162035

 

68Stop ItConnie Chung« From the creators of The Colbert Report, this is The Colbert Report. »202036

 

69Eat ItSteve Kroft« In vino veritas, and I am hammered! »212037

 

70I am the Great and Powerful OzDan Senor« Truth hurts, and this is gonna be agonizing. »222038

 

71John Kasich« Mr. Stephen Colbert requests the pleasure of your company on the occasion of his latest television program. »232039

 

72TenseGary Hart« In the future you will be able to inject this program directly into your eyeballs; the future is now! »272040

 

73MarketingMichael D. Brown« The world is a dirty place, and I'm America's lemon-scented wet nap. »282041

 

74MerrierBruce Bartlett« This isn't a bald spot, it's a solar panel on a Truth machine. »292042

 

75F#@kRobert Greenwald« It's the last show of March. I came in like a lion and I'm going out like a lamb-fed lion. »302043

 

Avril

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
76Stay the CourseMichael Smerconish« It's baseball's opening day - any rebroadcast or reproduction of this telecast without the express written consent of Major League Baseball is prohibited. »32044

 

77BirdieRev. Jesse Jackson« Viewers of this show unite! We have nothing to lose but the facts. »42045

 

78Martyr[9]Harvey Mansfield« Let's see... Five letter word, Proven to be accurate... Hmm, you got me. »52046

 

79NazisMarkos Moulitsas« In thirty minutes, I'll be on a helicopter to Barbados. This is The Colbert Report. »62047

 

80Reza Aslan« I've been yelling this in the mirror all week: this is The Colbert Report! »172048

 

81Sir, Yes, SirAnthony Romero« Do you really exist or are you merely a figure in one of my dreams? Either way, this is The Colbert Report! »182049

 

82Save It[10]Caitlin Flanagan« Don't have a cow man, dyn-o-myte, aaaay, I'm the Fonz, what'choo talkin' 'bout, Willis? This is The Colbert Report! »[11]192050

 

83Bard[12]Ralph Nader« Is this The Colbert Report? The answer may surprise you. This is The Colbert Report! »202051

 

84Hugh Hewitt« This weekend, Hippies celebrated Earth Day; maybe one day they'll celebrate Jobs Day. »242052

 

85PanamaSam Harris« How many pundits does it take to cover the news? Three: Me, Myself and I! »252053

 

86EnglishSebastian Junger« To make tonight's show more memorable, I've composed the following jingle: This is The Colbert Report! »262054

 

87White Gloves / Sit, ScratchWilliam Kristol« I've got truth fever... Seriously, I've been throwing up all day. »272055

 

Mai

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
88Drug-Fueled Sex Crime[13]Jon Meacham« It's May-Day, and I'm wrapping ribbons of truth around America's pole. »12056

 

89Healthy AppetiteMike Huckabee« I bring you the unvarnished truth, though it's lightly stained and buffed with a Danish oil. »22057

 

90Name GamePaul Rieckhoff« When life gets you down, don't get mad... Get Stephen. »32058

 

91IndulgenceRick Reilly« We're holding our spring formal and my date is the truth. Tonight, we're going all the way. »42059

 

92NotShere Hite« Due to my unauthorized spreading of the truth, I've been forced into the Witness Protection Program. This is the Silverman Report. »82060

 

93SuperegomaniacFrank Rich« There are three doors; behind one is a tiger, another is the truth, and the last is a closet. Choose wisely. »92061

 

94Athletes Are Above The LawWilliam Bastone« I'm a steamroller of truth, repaving the highway of the future. Expect delays. »102062

 

95Fill 'Er UpMadeleine Albright[Inhale l'helium d'un balon] « This is The Colbert Report. »112063

 

96Lunchables (en)[14]Kevin Phillips« When I think about the truth, I touch myself (en). This is The Colbert Report! »[15]152064

 

97InoculationTyson Slocum« Males aged 18–34 with disposable income, prepare to have your purchasing habits swayed. »162065

 

98DemocratsJonathan Alter« I'm America's Dairy Queen, giving you the soft serve news in a crunchy coating of opinion. Would you like Truth with that? »172066

 

99LibyaTed Daeschler« I Am the Walrus, Goo goo ka Truth. »182067

 

Juin

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
100MeStone Phillips52068

 

101MilitaryChristiane Amanpour« It's 6-6-6, and this show contains many Satanic backmasked messages. tropeR trebloC ehT si sihT. (This is The Colbert Report spoken backwards) »62069

 

102Big DealSteve Squyres« When the world tries to shake us up, I'm America's bubble wrap. »72070

 

103Gooooaaaaal!Steven Johnson« Life is a crap shoot, and I'm your loaded dice. »82071

 

104Tom DeLay's Farewell SpeechRobert F. Kennedy Jr.« By the power of Grayskull, this is The Colbert Report. »122072

 

105Great F**king IdeaTim Flannery« This show may be recorded for quality assurance. This... is The Colbert Report. »132073

 

106License RenewalDavid Sirota« Loosen your belts, America, I'm gonna force feed you truth like grain down a goose's gullet. »142074

 

107Lock & LoadMichael Pollan« There's a vicious rumor going around that this is not The Colbert Report, but let me assure you, this is The Colbert Report. »152075

 

108Risky BusinessGustavo Arellano« I'm going through America's trash separating the white glass of truth from the green glass of facts. »192076

 

109Everything Must GoBart Ehrman« And now, the ten-time winner of the Stephen Colbert Award for Journalistic Excellence, this is The Colbert Ro... Oh shit! »202077

 

110Bay Buchanan« Today is the summer solstice, the longest day of the year. But what really matters is... how thick is it? »212078

 

111Cut and RunDoug Brinkley« This is The Colbert Report, or for our foreign viewers: THIS IS THE COLBERT REPORT! »222079

 

112Class WarfareMark Bowden« Still waiting for my invitation, Nicole and Keith. This is The Colbert Report. »262080

 

113Cold, Dead FingersChris Matthews« We now return you to The Colbert Report, already in progress. »272081

 

114SupermanRobert Baer« I had an acting class this week, and it's really paid off: this is The Colbert Report. »282082

 

115Monkey ButterChristopher Noxon« Happy Birthday, America. You may be 230, but if you were a dog, you'd only be 32... but you'd be dead 'cause dogs don't live that long. This is The Colbert Report. »292083

 

Juillet

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
116Silver FoxesAmy Sedaris« I don't think Barry Manilow looks this good in a suit. This is The Colbert Report! »102084

 

117PsychopharmaparentingTony Hawk« Now zip it and cop a squat, little mister, or you are grounded for a week. This is The Colbert Report! »112085

 

118The America ConventionsMort Zuckerman« They say only drunks and children tell the truth. Guess which one I am. »122086

 

119InquisitionRon Suskind« Spoiler Alert. This is The Colbert Report! »132087

 

120T&ALee Silver« You're in for a real treat tonight... if you are watching this show from an ice cream parlor. This is The Colbert Report! »172088

 

121SolidarityDhani Jones« We've got a coast to coast heatwave, but luckily I'm America's biggest fan... This is The Colbert Report! »182089

 

122R-E-S-P-E-C-TJoe Scarborough« I don't have a truth problem. I tell the truth, I fall down, no problem. This is The Colbert Report. »192090

 

123Tom Brokaw« The special ingredient in tonight's show? It's love, this is The Colbert Report. »202091

 

124Moral MinorityHowell Raines« I'm America's watchdog: I'm vigilant, I see the world in black and white, and I eat liver and bacon. This is The Colbert Report. »242092

 

125Opposite Day (en)William A. Donohue« I regret that I have but one half-hour to shout at my country. This is The Colbert Report. »252093

 

126DemocrazyNeal Katyal« On my show, it's always Shark Week. Enemies of America, you are the chum. This is The Colbert Report. »262094

 

127Secretary-General BoltonJoe Quesada« I'm packing America's lunch box with a truth roll-up (en). This is The Colbert Report. »272095

 

128WikialityNed Lamont[en sonnant une cloche] « By now you should be trained to salivate whenever you hear... This is The Colbert Report. »312096

 

Août

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
129UncoolPeter Beinart« The following program is rated 'T' for... This is The Colbert Report. »12097

 

130Single ServingLinda Hirshman« Hey Mom, check it out! I'm on TV! This is The Colbert Report. »22098

 

131Paul Hackett32099

 

132Ten-Hut!William Rhoden« We're reaching America's youth, nation! Check it out! (a child then says from his high chair, This is The Colbert Report!) »82100

 

133Pencils DownAlexandra Robbins« Take the Colbert challenge, America! Sing the National Anthem to the tune of my theme song! This is The Colbert Report! »92101

 

134CappuccinoEli Pariser« The Colbert Report's terror level has been elevated to brown - someone spilled coffee on the chart. This is The Colbert Report! »102102

 

135Ramesh Ponnuru« This message is for my homies back in the hood: We're on for squash tomorrow morning at the club at 8:30. This is The Colbert Report! »142103

 

136Dumb-ocracyDavid Gergen« America, I'm throwing my arms in the air and waving them like I just don't care. I'm sorry, I just can't do it - I do care! This is The Colbert Report! »152104

 

137El Comandante[16]Morgan Spurlock« [quietly] If you can hear this you're too close to your television. [yelling] This is The Colbert Report! »162105

 

138Neil Young« Time to take a half-hour break from rockin' in the free world. This is The Colbert Report! »172106

 

139Side EffectsGeoffrey Nunberg« Could being a Nielsen family kill you? Watch the entire show to find out. This is The Colbert Report! »212107

 

14099 ProblemsPaul Krugman« I've got the truth on my side - it's one of the advantages of getting to pick first. This is The Colbert Report! »222108

 

141Gideon Yago232109

 

142Bad Boys / HELP![17]Janna Levin« I still can't get enough of this (sound clip of last night's theme, 'It's crumbelievable!' plays) - This is The Colbert Report! »242110

 

Septembre

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
143ShallMartin Short« I've been gone two weeks and I think the kids have had a party in the studio. Smells like weed in here. This is The Colbert Report! »112111

 

144Missed OpportunityToby Keith122112

 

145Caveat EmptorKen Jennings« America, I'm about to raise your minimum rage. This is The Colbert Report! »132113

 

146Bill Simmons« If you watch only one Comedy Central show in the next half-hour, make it this one. This is The Colbert Report! »142114

 

147Wiper FluidWill Power« There's an old saying where I come from: This is The Colbert Report! »182115

 

148TribalismFrank Rich« Some pronounce it 'yee-roh.' Some pronounce it 'gyro.' I pronounce it 'lamb sandwich.' This is America! Speak English! This is The Colbert Report! »192116

 

149LoseJames Carville202117

 

150Daniel Ellsberg« This is the church, this is the steeple, open the doors, ATTACKED BY AN EAGLE! AW! This is The Colbert Report! »212118

 

151Opposition PartyArianna Huffington« The leaves may be changing, but my opinions never will. This is The Colbert Report! »252119

 

152Good MorningTed Danson« Facts should be like Sansabelt (en) pants, adjustable to fit your needs. This is The Colbert Report! »262120

 

153IraqLowell Bergman« America, remember the most important gun safety tip: if you have a gun, you'll be safe. This is The Colbert Report! »272121

 

154Steve Wozniak« Just a reminder, the Colbert Report original cast recording is available on sale in the lobby. This is The Colbert Report! »282122

 

Octobre

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
155CopycatMichael Lewis« America, I'm not your normal pundit. I'm fully krausened. This is The Colbert Report. »22123

 

156ExperienceAndy Stern« America, I'm auctioning off this part of the show. Your ad could be here. This is The Colbert Report. »32124

 

157Must-Not-See TV (en)Byron Dorgan« Apply directly to the forehead (en), Apply directly to the forehead, Apply directly to the forehead. This is The Colbert Report. »42125

 

158Amy Goodman« Here's the truth you ordered. Watch out, the plate's very hot! This is The Colbert Report! »52126

 

159SafetyRandy Newman« I'm like Wonder Woman, I've got a lasso of truth and a killer bod. This is The Colbert Report. »92127

 

160Ariel Levy102128

 

161George Lucas« America, the culture war is like a bar fight, and I'm your broken pool cue. This is The Colbert Report. »112129

 

162Brian Schweitzer« You don't have to be crazy to work here, but it helps me fire you. This is The Colbert Report. »122130

 

163Russian DollsBarry Scheck« It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm a dog. This is The Colbert Report. »162131

 

164Irreconcilable DifferencesRichard Dawkins« I know we've been together for a year now, Nation, but I would still so do you. This is The Colbert Report. »172132

 

165SherlockDavid Kuo« It's ladies night here on the report... My suit... Half off! This is The Colbert Report. »182133

 

166Peter Agre« The pen is mightier than the sword... if you shoot that pen out of a gun. This is The Colbert Report. »192134

 

167ShamelessBarry Manilow« See you tomorrow night, trick or treaters! Hope you like stationery. This is The Colbert Report! »302135

 

168Thanks, Gays!Tim Robbins« I'm giving America something better than candy; my opinions. But be careful! Some of them are filled with razor blades. This is The Colbert Report. »312136

 

Novembre

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
169Rip-offPenn Jillette« It's the first day of November sweeps, and I'm pregnant! »12137

 

170Ron Reagan« Call me, Reese Witherspoon. This is The Colbert Report! »22138

 

171Happy EndingMark Halperin« I'm Stephen Colbert, and I approve this message. This is The Colbert Report! »62139

 

17272140

 

173SighJeff Greenfield« I told you America, a hard rain's gonna fall. This is The Colbert Report! »82141

 

174Putin 08Dean Kamen« Sorry Cookie Monster, 'C' is for Colbert. This is the eponymous report! »92142

 

175Back off, old man!Dan Rather« I'm going to drop the truth on you like Denise Richards' laptop on an old lady's head! »132143

 

176ExpectingJeff Swartz« I just finished my resume. If anyone asks, this show has been on for 30 years. This is The Colbert Report! »142144

 

177Al Franken, Mike Novacek« The days are getting shorter and shorter, and the Democrats have only been in power for a week. This is The Colbert Report! »152145

 

178Play Ball!Richard Linklater« I'm off next week, so savor me like the last rose of summer. This is The Colbert Report. »162146

 

179JacksquatJim Lehrer« I'm rested, well-fed and looking for a fight. Are you listening, yet-to-be-named-chairman of the House's intelligence committee? This is The Colbert Report. »272147

 

180Ecu-Menace!Harry Shearer« Alright stoners, start your copy of The Dark Side of the Moon...now! This is The Colbert Report! »282148

 

181Killing two birdsNora Ephron« Tonight, the show is in... 3D! Unless you are watching on a television. This is The Colbert Report! »292149

 

182Mike Lupica« Hey, TV Land catchphrase contest, try this one on for size: This is The Colbert Report! »302150

 

Décembre

The Wørd Invité Phrase d'introduction Jour de diffusion Production
183American OrthodoxWill Wright« When it comes to mental gymnastics, I'm a 14-year-old Romanian girl. And I'm gonna stick the landing. This is The Colbert Report! »042151

 

184Honest InjunSteven Levitt« The truth is contagious - and I haven't washed my hands in days. This is The Colbert Report! »052152

 

185WordsJohn Sexton« No animals were harmed in the filming of this episode. We tried, but that damn monkey was just too fast. This is The Colbert Report! »062153

 

186Case ClosedElizabeth de la Vega, Francis S. Collins« Hey Partridge in that pear tree - stop eating all those pears! This is The Colbert Report! »072154

 

187Peter Singer« Genius is 10% inspiration and 90% respiration. You'd be surprised how many geniuses forget to breathe. This is The Colbert Report! »112155

 

188Casualty of WarDan Savage« America, take off your thinking caps and put on your feeling shoes. This is The Colbert Report! »122156

 

189It's A Small WorldDoris Kearns Goodwin« Space shuttle astronauts, look down: you can see this from space [points at his abnormally protruding right ear]. This is The Colbert Report! »132157

 

190ClarityDaniel Pinchbeck[il lance une pièce] « America has won the coin-toss and has elected to receive...the truth! This is The Colbert Report! »142158

 

191The DraftJack Welch« It's the season of giving. Only 7 more days for giving people hell for saying Happy Holidays! This is The Colbert Report! »182159

 

192Tit For TatDeepak Chopra« Six days left to get your Christmas shopping done America. Fifteen-and-a-half (touching his collar), thirty-four (touching his jacket sleeve), This is The Colbert Report! »192160

 

193Chris Funk, Robert Schneider202161

Morley Safer remplace Stephen dans une parodie de l'introduction de 60 Minutes pour annoncer le sujet principal de l'épisode : le challenge de solo de guitare entre Stephen et le guitariste de The Decemberists, Chris Funk

Notes et références

  1. On the January 9, 2006, episode, there was no Wørd of the day because Jack Abramoff pleading guilty to a number of felony criminal charges was said to present no issue, and thus no story. However, the segment still proceeded as usual, just without any "theme" word; the lack of a word itself became the theme.
  2. The word "¡Cerrado!" was in reference to the U.S. borders, with Colbert recommending a wall built not just along the Mexican border but also along the Canadian border and the East and West coasts, and with a dome covering everything inside.
  3. The word "Old School" was used in reference to the purportedly vengeful style of the God of the Old Testament.
  4. The word "smarterer" was used to describe a condition better than being smarter, by being "smarter" at subjects like religion which Colbert identified as being more important than traditional school subjects like math and science; Colbert responded to reports of overseas students outscoring American students at core school subjects by seeking to become "smarterer", such as by learning that the answer to every question in science class is that "God did it."
  5. The word Public-See was punned as a humorous antonym of Privacy.
  6. The word "Jesi" was used to refer to more than one Jesus.
  7. The word "U.S.A.? U.S.A.?" was used to signify Colbert's disappointment with the U.S. Olympic team in contrast to his word "U.S.A.! U.S.A.!" on February 9, 2006.
  8. The phrase translates into English as "Let the Good Times Roll", though Colbert declares that it translates to "Show us your tits."
  9. The word "Martyr" was used to refer to "The death of Tom DeLay's political career."
  10. The word "Save It" was used as in "Save your breath" in reference to arguments about Global warming.
  11. Introductory phrase from Bart Simpson, Jimmie Walker, Henry Winkler as Fonzie, and Gary Coleman as Arnold Jackson.
  12. The word "Bard" was used "As in, these kids should be bard up in jail", in reference to juvenile rehabilitation.
  13. The phrase "Drug-Fueled Sex Crime" was a suggestion to politically active celebrities such as George Clooney to have one so they can "slink off" and "just say no to political action."
  14. The word "Lunchables" was used to describe how "America should be, in hermetically sealed, individual spaces."
  15. The opening line refers to the song "I Touch Myself" by Divinyls.
  16. The Wørd segment on August 16, 2006, was done as « La Palabra » (with the Ø slash through the second A) by Colbert's Mexican equivalent, Esteban.
  17. An audience member transformed into a Colbert Report fanatic on 30 Days invoked several recurring elements. The WØRD "HELP!" was triggered as the man was being led out by security.

Annexes

Articles connexes

Liens externes

Article publié sur Wikimonde Plus

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